Dealing with learned helplessness

My heart was shattered and i had to pick up all the pieces alone. I'm petrified of giving away my heart, letting someone into my mind and soul and taking the risk of getting hurt again. I get so insecure that the thoughts in the back of my head reflecting my learned helplessness rummage uncontrollably. I shouldn't be this paranoid. I've built up walls around my heart and I am trying so hard to tear them down. I want to find a safe place to fall but I can't do that when I portray every guy as a villain. Sometimes we all feel this way, If you're anything like me, here's my advice to you. You should never feel like there isn't anyone out there for you because there is, maybe you just haven't met them yet or maybe they're in your life right now but you just haven't noticed them. If you're having trouble finding a good guy, you should never lose hope. Just remember that you don't need to look for love, because most likely, love will find you. You don't always need a guy to feel loved, you can find love right now within other things, like yourself, your family, a sport or an activity, and that will keep you busy and happy, then sooner or later, when you least expect you'll meet someone. Focus on yourself right now, always love yourself first because that is what's most important. If you are not aware of the term "learned helplessness" it is when you are so used to something bad happing to you, you avoid it because you're afraid it's going to happen again.  Not everyone is going to hurt you. I know getting in a new relationship can be traumatizing but just keep a positive attitude. Although you've been hurt once before, or maybe even repeatedly, someone is going to enter your life and make you forget your heart was ever broken. When you meet someone, always remember that expecting things to go wrong, is not the way to make things go right. If a guy is treating you right, enjoy it, do not jump to conclusions of the relationship being "too good to be true" just because of your past. Keep your head held high, because you're beautiful and worthy to be loved.

Ignore the hate

In today's society everyone feels the need to judge one another, whether they know you or not. Just because you heard does not mean you know. Those that judge you do not often realize that you don't need to live by their rules. How you chose to live your life is up to you. But nowadays everyone wants to control people's lives and constantly critic what they are doing as if they have the slightest idea of what that person could be going through. Maybe they've seen you in school or they follow you on social media, but does that mean they really know you? Not at all. There will always be a difference between what people think of you vs. who you really are. Seeing is decieving. We all have things about us that make us unique and beautiful in our own way, as well as what we've been through that has shaped us into who we are now. So when someone judges you its often because they have no clue about what you are battling personally or they base who they think you are off of what they heard about you. People will automatically assume they know you and feel the need to need say something cruel. It sucks that society is so judgemental. But truth is, you are always going to be criticized so you might as well do what you love. The best way to ignore the hate and judgement is to just remember who you are, stay true to yourself. What people say about you does not define who you are as a person. You are defined by your character, thoughts and your views. Never let what others say define you. The things that people say about you right now, are not going to matter in five years. God is preparing you for greater things, there is far more to life than what you are feeling right now. 

Overcoming heartbreaks

Have you ever loved someone so much you were willing to do anything just to make them happy? I have. I was so in love, everytime i saw him my heart raced, i was left speechless whenever i looked into his eyes. I've never felt such a way about anyone, ever. I trusted him with my heart and soul. He meant the world to me. But he turned out to not be the person i thought he was. He betrayed me, took advantage, started rumors about me and broke my heart into a million pieces. I've never felt so unloved and worthless in my entire life. My heart was already shattered and he made everything worse. Just the thought of how he used me, left me and ruined my reputation like i was absolutely nothing to him, made me not want to live anymore. I couldn't walk into the hallway without being pointed or stared at. At age 15 i was already having suicide thoughts. I cried myself to sleep, night after night wishing i wouldn't wake up the next morning. For 7 months i never let go of him. He was all i thought about. I refused to give up on him because i was still infatuated with the person i thought he was. He has scarred me in so manys, but he has not broken me. Once i realized that he was completely wrong for me i found the strength to let go of him, it wasn't easy but i did it. After i moved on, everything got better. I learned that I am strong enough to conquer anything, and anyone. He can never hurt me again. If you have ever got your heart broken you must understand that things will be ok in the end. Everything happens for a reason, and everyone who is put it in your life was put there for a reason. It is not your fault for being hurt. It's bound to happen to every teenage girl, that's just life. Hang in there, surround yourself with people who love and care about you and things will soon get better. It's astonishing how short of a time it takes for good things to happen.